I'm not mad at you, and I guess you're at me.

This is for you, not for you or you or you,
the one with the blue velvet jacket,
but you.

If you are angry at me, then I should say one thing
Just one...

You are absolutely right.
If you are not mad, I guess you're "frustrated".
Or, just making that hard face
to show everyone that "you do not care".

You are showing me,
or trying to show,
that you do not care.

And, of course, you would not admit it.

Or maybe, I just think too much.
And because I love thinking too much,
I will keep writing about it,
In any case you are interested.

I think your method is okay,
that is how you deal with the world.
How you manage your parents,
your friends, your favorite mall rat,
and, or, even God.

But you should know one thing:
I hate that face, above all things.
It irritates me.
I think it is grotesque.
The worst hypocresy ever made.

But, guess what? I can be that, too.
I can not care, If I want to.
That is how I survived like...

Three or four jobs,
several coworkers,
like a hundred school partners,
seven or eight relationships,
and whatever else aspect of life
you wish to put here.

And I ended, each one of them,
because I, too, did not care.

Best of all, I had -and still have-
fun doing it. Because, yes...
I love seeing that other,
becoming mad at me.

It is adorable,
even cute,
makes me snarl: "awwwwwwwnnn".

So, it is my fault.
I admit it.
It is my fault because I cared too much,
way too much, in an obsesive manner.

That's kinda shitty fooky happy crappy.

So, I am resting right now.
I do not wish to care anymore.
Neither, I do not wish you to have fun.
We will do this as it should have been in the beginning.

If you do not care,
I do not care.
If you care,
I do care.
If you adore yourself.
I'll love me so much.

If you hate yourself,
if you had a bad day,
if I made you mad,
Sorry, that is who I am.
That I can not change.

And if you put that face... that grotesque,
silent, solid, rocky face...

That I love so much, even when it irritates me,
I'll just say "Awwwwwww" and pat you, lovingly, in the head.